Hello! My name is Charley Coleman, and I have a major in Creative Writing. While there are many different English Department activity groups available on campus, I enjoy the independence of the major. Even though I work mostly independently, there is a strong writing community here at Cornell, and that has helped me reach outside my comfort zone in sharing my work.
I started this year off with a Vacation Block, and while some students may see that as a time to relax, I knew that I needed to utilize this time to start creating a writing schedule for myself that I could stick with throughout the year. With the ENG 515 course, Literary Citizenship, there is also a monthly calendar that is released with in-person events and various readings that could be beneficial to those in the writing community on campus. While I knew I wasn’t going to be able to attend the in-person events on campus during my time at home, I knew I could use this remote learning experience as a way to get back into writing. Each semester of ENG 515, we are allowed to have up to eight hours of creative, personal writing, and I knew that I would have to utilize this to my advantage, being remote for the first block of the semester.
With specific goals in mind, I began to create a writing schedule that would work with both my school and personal life, knowing there were going to be multiple transitions on and off campus. During this first block, I made notes on specific areas in my novel that I could begin working on. In previous years, I tended to just jump around in different directions, leaving multiple unfinished pieces of writing and figuring out how to connect them all. This time, I used my past experiences to try a different course of direction. I began to draft a version of the prologue, hoping that starting from the beginning would make it easier, but somehow, it was just as difficult. I kept hitting writer’s block and did not know how to continue forward without feeling like I was making no progress. At the end of this first block, after experiencing many writer’s blocks, I had a decent draft of my prologue and the direction I wanted my novel to go in.
With the transition back to campus in block two, I took this time to get back into the swing of campus life. I did not write as much as I had hoped at this time, but looking back, the break helped my writer’s block tremendously. While I wasn’t actively writing my novel, there were times when I jotted down notes on what to work on next, giving myself multiple options to choose from for when I did start writing again.
In block three, I was allowed to take an Independent Study course, focused and structured specifically around the creation of my novel, “The Letter.” Professor Rebecca Entel and I came up with a small list of goals to achieve during this time. Shortly after, an occurrence of multiple personal events came up, and this would cause me to make drastic changes to my writing goals. Looking back at all that has happened so far this year, it has made me realize that not everything is going to go according to plan. From a writing perspective, these events and changes in my original plans helped me realize what did and did not work in my creative process. Having scheduled times to sit down and write proved to be the most helpful in terms of motivation because it gave me a chance to escape from reality and dive into the world I was creating.
Overall, I took advantage of these four blocks of the semester. I was able to experiment with different writing environments, as well as different emotional approaches to specific scenes and characters in my novel. Moving forward, I would like to attend more English Department activities, such as FreeWrite Friday, in hopes that I will be able to branch further outside of my comfort zone. Here is a draft attachment of the prologue for my novel, “The Letter”:
Prologue
The First Letter
Sawyer, (and if your name is NOT Sawyer Kinkade and you are reading this… move along, or else. I mean it.)
I’m so sorry, Sunshine. Losing your grandfather, and now me.
But what did we expect, right? We both knew I wasn’t going to last without him. He was the love of my life. The light in my darkness. He was the other half of me. I hope you’ll be able to find that in your life sometime, even when it seems like it’ll never be possible. But who couldn’t love you? You’re a bundle of joy. My Sunshine. Hell, it’s been about twenty years since he passed, and I’m still here. Well…not really
anymore, considering that you’re reading this letter. I can’t reveal too much in this first letter, in case someone intercepts it before it gets to you.
Okay, back to what I’m actually supposed to talk about. Somehow, I still ramble on paper as if you were here with me while writing this, but you aren’t. I’m writing this because I have a feeling that…
and…here I go again with my rambling. Okay, seriously, game face is going on.
You need to listen to me, it’s important. Code shimmer, it’s that important, are you reading me right? (you know, since you can’t hear me, haha). There are certain things you don’t know yet, and this letter is the way I have to tell you. As difficult as it’s going to be to understand everything through the letters, you will learn that the Kinkade family has a secret that has been passed down through generations. I could never find the right time to tell you the truth in person, part of that being that I wasn’t ready to tell you, not because I didn’t think you were ready. The responsibility of this secret needs to be guarded by your life, literally. I’m not kidding, and I have a feeling that it will cost me my own, like the many others before me. And now it’s time you finally understand the meaning of being a Kinkade. You’ve always been a smart woman, even as a young kid. So I know you can figure out the truth and arrange the pieces the way they are supposed to be. The pieces have now fallen into your lap, darling. There are a lot of people, horrible people, in this world who have been trying and will continue to try to reveal this secret. They can’t. Ever. Do you understand me, Sawyer? When you learn the truth, keep it to yourself. No matter the costs.
Trust nobody.
Along with details on you finally being the keeper of the family secret (it sounds as daunting as it is, trust me), there are other details to discuss.
The diner. I know it has a special place in your heart. It does for me as well. I’ve watched you grow from a child into a beautiful woman. You don’t take anyone’s shit, and that’s one of the many things I love about you. I also know that it isn’t what you want to be doing with the rest of your life, running the diner, so my attorney will be in contact with you once I’ve kicked the bucket officially. And, yes, I’m cracking jokes about my upcoming death, sue me. Oh, wait, you won’t be able to ;). You guys can discuss the next course of action for the diner, whatever it is you choose. I just ask one thing. Don’t let it get torn down. Remodel it and turn it into something, but don’t tear it down. It’s more important than you think.
Besides the diner and obviously the house, there is one other piece of property you are unaware of. There is a cabin that lies in the woods on the back edge of the property, by the cliffs. We never brought you there or discussed it around you because of the dangerous and mysterious lands. It’s part of the Kinkade secret. It has been a part of Grandad’s family for many generations. You’ll inherit that from the will as well, just be cautious.
To sum it up, you are inheriting the diner, the house, the cabin, and all the property I own in town. And I know you’re probably freaking out; it’s a lot. But take your time, sweetie. There is no rush. A lot of memories from your past, and some of mine, are going to be brought forward. Some you may remember and some you may not. It’s going to be a lot all at once, but I know you’ll make the right choices. We never had the opportunity to discuss what you wanted to do with the diner when you were to inherit it. And here we are, me communicating to you through letters after I’ve died, crazy. Huh, I guess Old Man Jim was right when he called me crazy that one time, haha. But anyway, I meant to have a sit-down
conversation with you, but time just got the best of us. What I’m trying to say is, you can do anything you want, Sunshine. If you feel that selling the diner would be the best option for you, do it. Do whatever it takes to make yourself happy again.
Besides the attorney, there is one other person who will be making contact with you once I’ve passed. He’s going to be handling the personal matters; everything has already been taken care of and paid for (for whatever situation is running through your crazy head right now). All you have to do is be there. For everyone else, but mostly yourself. You’ve dealt with loss, and it changed you in ways no one else will ever understand. You rise each morning and make the same trek down the stairs to the coffee machine, grabbing the same mug every morning. You carry yourself as if every day is a fresh start, opening the blinds to a new world of promises. From the moment you were born, you’ve had to fight. Not just because of your mother, if you even want me to call her that. With all the people that left, and things that changed with time, you absorbed the silence; found peace within it. There has always been a light inside you. It has never gone out, no matter what events have been thrown at you. That’s why I call you
Sunshine. I tried to get Spitfire to stick, but your Granddad fought against that one. Guess who won.
I know it’s going to be difficult, and I have a feeling you might shut down a bit after my death. But I need you to get up every morning and make the same walk to the coffee machine as always. Start with that, at least, and go from there. Some days are going to be harder than others, and that’s okay. Don’t use my death as an excuse. You’ve dealt with loss before, and you can do it again (yes, I’m being a bit harsh, but I want you to know that I’m only doing it because I love you). I’ve had the honor to watch you become the woman that you are today, and I couldn’t be more proud.
Okay, I know by now you probably have a bunch of questions running through your head. Like, how did I know you didn’t want to keep running the diner? Who’s the random guy? Why did I never mention the cabin? But a magician never reveals her secrets, darling. Many things that will make shocking appearances, and you must trust your instincts on how best to handle them.
Before I tell you anything more, I need you to promise me that you won’t leave Ashwood (for good) until after you sell the diner and look in the basement. Make it the last thing you do. Deal with everything else first, whatever it is. You have to promise me, Sawyer, even if I’m dead. Say it out loud.
Promise me. Please. Say it right now.
That’s the only condition: look in the basement. Yes, the one that has always been locked. That’s all I’m going to say for now; the rest you have to discover for yourself. The diner is linked to the Kinkades in a deeper way than I have been able to find so far; there are still missing pieces. Hopefully, with your fresh eyes, you’ll figure out the truth. Keep the truth a secret, no matter what you have to do. There are no lines or boundaries that people won’t cross; people will try and stop you from learning the truth. Their attempts will show you the gravity of the situation. People have been after the Kindkades for as long as I can remember, and it seems to be going in a horrible direction. People are preparing. People will get hurt. You also need to prepare. You must. But there is one thing you need to know.
You can trust Ryker McKinley.
I know, Sunshine. He hurt you. But he’s your other half. Like your Grandad was for me. He brings out the best in you; your smiles and laughs, especially the memories. When you guys were children, he left for a reason; one you didn’t and still don’t know about. Ever since the day he walked out on you, just know that he had his reasons, and yes, I do know them, so I’m not just saying it to get you to believe me. He’ll tell you when he’s ready, and if he’s not, don’t push him. He needs someone on his side for once. Not against him. He was there for you when you needed him most, no matter how much you hate to admit it.
You guys loved each other.
If he gets involved, don’t fight him. I’ve already told him all the details he needs to know on his side of this shit show, but now you know your information (or at least, the start of it. It was too dangerous and too much to explain in one letter. There will be others shortly.)
Once everything (and I mean everything) is done and taken care of, you’ll have to make a decision. There will be a set of coordinates on the last letter you receive from me; you will know when it’s the last one. The coordinates aren’t marked on any plain map; the coordinates will go to a specific map, which is located in the diner’s basement. Until then, the map will be useless. But keep it safe.
Your Granddad and I felt that keeping you tucked away in our small town, surrounded by the water and townspeople, was the safest option. It was secluded and safe, at least it had been for a while, until recently. My last wish is that we made the right choice.
You are a Kinkade.
Kinkades aren’t afraid. They don’t run away from their problems. They stay where they are and fight for what they love and fight for those whom they want to protect. Your mother was never a Kinkade, at least not fully. She wandered in and out of the town often, disobeying our parental orders and those of the authorities. At eighteen, she left for good. I never knew she had gotten pregnant with you until I got the call that night at the motel from your father. You probably don’t remember that night at all. You were just under a year old. You had already gone through so much, been through many dark times, at such a young age. You always had these fits at night when you were a baby, always from the faintest noise. You refused all soothing remedies; we tried everything. The only thing you did was cry. You would cry so hard that sometimes your face would turn bright red. I even called Sharell, the 911 dispatcher for the town, a few times because your Grandad and I were helpless. We didn’t know what to do. The way you entered this world shaped you into the woman you are today. Your mother had her reasons, no matter how insane and absurd they may seem. She made her choices, and you are allowed to make your own.
When you’re ready for more secrets and information about your parents, you’ll know when the second letter appears. Don’t search for it, there’s no use. I have a system for how you will receive the letters; it may seem absurd, but it’s necessary.
xoxo, Nana
P.S. You will always be my Sunshine. I’m sorry you have to go through these next parts of your life alone. I wish I were there for you to help you process the information. But this is where you prove yourself. You need to do this for yourself. But also for your father. He’s depending on you. I love you.
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